Life at the moment is hell...

I have something to say, my life seems like hell right now....

I have been gone for way too long... At first... well I can say that I didn't write because life was way too nice to me... Everything was bright and I was happy....

Sadly, things always change.....

I have to adapt to a new environment, I have to learn to mend broken hearts and to look out for others. I have new responsibilities that I had never known before. I have things to think about that I couldn't have ever imagined...

However, I have people that support me. I have my loving boyfriend who is there for me and I have an amazing sister who needs me to be there for her.

Sometimes I don't know how to deal with the pain, sometimes I forget that this is just the nature of life. I have to repeat to myself that everything happens for a reason and in the end everything will turn out okay. I have to remember that I will achieve my goals only if I get through this, and if I don't then everything will be harder... As soon as I am done with this bump I will continue my college education and achieve my career....

Throughout the short years in my life I have learned many things and I have gone through many hills and valleys. I have had amazing moments in my life, but I have had horrifying and hard moments that give me too much pain... Like the pain I am feeling at this moment... The pain that doesn't hurt my body but they hurt me emotionally...

As everyday passes the pain doesn't decrease, it just increases... It increases exponentially and as everyday passes I get more and more tired of this hell... I wish that it could just end, the stabbing pain has to go away eventually, but I feel that this pain is not up to its full potential. I still have more to go through, I have yet to get to peak of this misery. I know that I will be hurt more, more parts of my heart will be broken, but I have to keep in mind that after I reach the peak of the hill it will only be downhill from there and the pain will decrease and leave just as it got here.

I tried so hard to pretend that there was nothing wrong, but when things impede a person to achieve their goals and it hurts them to a point where they have to cry themselves to sleep... then the pretending can get quite hard....

I have something to say, I will get through this and one day after this is all over my life will be as bright as it used to be if not brighter....