Saturday, February 22, 2014

What happened to me in 2013?

My life took a very drastic change at the end of 2012..... Right after I graduated from high school I found out that my parents were getting a divorce... So before 2013 even started I knew how it was going to go...

The fighting between my parents climaxed and I just could not take it any longer... I moved out to my boyfriends house around November and my new life started..

My new year started with a new job, new responsibilities, new lifestyle, new everything. I learned the hard way what it was to actually have to worry about things. Before I left my home I was used to having almost everything done for me.. All I had to worry about was my school work, my parents fighting once in a while, and stuff that any random teenager could imagine. However, I was stressed all the time, all I could ever think about was the chaos that I had to overcome that day... my only escape was the days that I could spend with my boyfriend. Even then I had to bring in my problems to him. When I decided to leave... well I talked to my boyfriend's parents and we all agreed... (By the way, my boyfriend, who today is my fiancé, his name is Manny).

On the day I left my home my mom was away, she had not yet left our home but she was making the decision to leave. My dad cursed me out, over the years he had made me feel useless but on the day I left he made me feel like trash... I wrote him a very long letter and didn't talk to him for the first couple of weeks after I moved out. Anyway, my mom left not too long after I left. The only one who stayed is my little sister.

Starting a new life, with a new family was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Yes, the part of having my boyfriend with me almost 24/7 was great! That is the only way I was able to survive. However there is a whole different side to this new life. I had to wake up and have breakfast with people I hardly knew. I had to go to sleep without saying goodnight to my parents and my sister. The first couple of months that I lived away from my home I had to cry myself to sleep... I called my sister almost everyday, texted her. My routine with her was the hardest thing to let go of... I still have trouble coping with that. I miss her everyday because she was my only company for the first 19 years of my life. I still see her, that I knew then... but it was not the same as living with her.

I was adopted by a new family.... that Christmas, that New Year's were the most sad of my life.... I kept wanting to cry because I wasn't with my family.... The worst part was that when I thought back, I knew that I couldn't come back.... Because there wasn't a family to come back to. My mom was living on her own and she wasn't coming back to my dad, ever. If I had gone back to my home, I would probably be gone from the world by now.... I always did say that I wouldn't stay with neither of them.. I didn't.....

Eventually I grew very fond of my new family, I learned to see my boyfriend's brothers like my brothers and his parents sorta like parental images. I am grateful for that, because as soon as I left, yes there was an emptiness in my chest that I couldn't fill, but there was also an immense weight lifted off my shoulders.....

I think I am going to have to end this post here...because if I don't it will be way too long..... So it does stop here...

I will continue this later on.....

With love,

Annie<3

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